“Collins is baying for your blood hun and I love it! He looks so shaken and keeps telling everyone that you are a bitch but we know you have put him in his place. Can you believe Collins of all people is walking around declaring his hatred for women?”

“He has always hated women that one. He sleeps with every woman around him and proceeds to treat them like trash and expects zero reaction from them. I honestly cannot stand him. Do you know what HR has decided regarding his fate?”

“Not yet but whatever it is that he did he might end up with a slap on his wrist. You know Elizabeth loses her mind and becomes weak around him. I think the two are sleeping together…what do you think? You know there is a time Collins used to hit on me and would bring me chocolates and flowers and Elizabeth hated me during that period. I was assigned the least pleasant of accounts and I got a memo almost every month. I wanted to sleep with him to revenge but he sent me a picture of his penis and I vomited in my mouth. Sasa that tiny thing is what a whole HR manager is fighting for?”

Rael laughed until she peed a little on herself. Carol was the office clown, rumor monger, and fact-bearer. She knew something about literally everyone and had a funny way of telling the stories. No one was exempted from her gossip and we knew better than open our mouths and tell her anything. The best one could do was listen and laugh at her stories. Rumor had it that she had slept with Collins several times, something she vehemently denied. Carol was still married to the baby daddy when this happened and it was one of the things that upset the ex-husband to the point of asking for a divorce. Apart from spreading news and clowning, Carol was a self-proclaimed staunch Christian and such rumors were not good for her reputation. Rael loved her. She loved how innocent and naïve Carol wanted to seem yet she was far from it. It made her happy.

“Let me get back to work Carol before I am sent memos. I have so much to do. Thank you for making me laugh. Please keep me posted if you hear anyone talking about me especially if it will affect my work.”

“I will, lakini now they are just talking about how big you have become. At least I am not the only fat girl in the office. Usikule sana kama mimi”

Today had been a good day in Rael’s book for a long time. She could not even remember the last time she laughed so freely like today. She knew that Collins would ultimately attempt to revenge and hence she had to be on her toes. The most important thing to do was for her to get the letter from the doctor to ensure that the email she had just received reinstating her to her old position was solid. She had been given one week to submit the letter but knowing the overwhelming amount of politics in her office, a lot could change in a few hours and hence it will be wise for her to deliver the letter as soon as possible. She hoped that Steve would not bail on her tomorrow. She needed him to take her to the hospital. She was yet to renew her car insurance plus it was due for service plus she just did not feel like driving herself. She had noticed that she got anxiety attacks a lot while driving and even when being driven. She had always loved road trips and driving gave her a good high so this was pretty strange to her. She knew if she brought this up to her therapist, she was going to go into some childhood trauma talk and try to dig deep into her life, and honestly, for the life of her, she was not ready. She was already feeling fed up with therapy and was missing some sessions. They were intense and made her crave a whole bottle of gin and a lot of other drugs.

As she ended the last meeting with her clients, who were all very elated to see her back, she remembered that Sandra was yet to get back to her regarding getting her another shylock. She had texted her about the Collins situation but Sandra was yet to even read the text. She toyed with the idea of calling her but she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Collins call coming through. She could not even begin to imagine what he wanted to tell her. She immediately switched to her bitch mode.

“Rael speaking, how can I assist you”

“Good afternoon Nancy. This is Collins. Collins from work.”

“Yes Collins from work. How can I assist you?”

“I know I deserve all the cold vibes coming from you but I just wanted to call you and apologize for how I have acted towards you and other people around me. I was really mean to you and I can only apologize as I learn and strive towards being a better person”

Rael could swear that Collins was being held at gunpoint. This nigga who severally swore that he can never ever apologize to anyone or anything was now on her phone talking about being a better person. Her jaw was on the floor.

“Collins from work, are you okay. You never apologize.”

“Those are some of the toxic behaviors I am trying to work on. It has been a rough few hours for me and I can imagine what you have been through. I promise to make everything better and be a better man.”

Rael found herself laughing uncomfortably because this was way out of character and out of brand for Collins that she did not know what to say. It felt very uncomfortable and she just wanted the conversation to end.

“Alright Collins. I forgive you. We will catch up later but kindly let me pick up a client’s call. I have been handed over the files back today and I am swamped. Bye”

 Immediately after she got off the phone, she noticed that an email from work had come in.  It was a private email from Human Resources that sought to find out Collin’s character through a series of questions. Now the call made perfect sense. That sneaky bastard knew what was coming and made the call just as a way of damage control. There was no way his call and apology was sincere. She was sure he was high on weed as he made the call. His audacity appalled and disgusted her. From showing her the middle finger in the morning to acting all remorseful in the afternoon. This man would have made an amazing actor. She was dying to call Carol just to listen to her side of the story but she was not ready for an hour of work gossip. Weed and her local were also calling. She had made this amazing discovery of smoking weed a few hours before having sex. It made her squirt and reach levels of orgasms only weed could and Steve always loved it when she squirts. She put on one of the dresses she had bought because all her old dresses did not fit. She honestly did not like what she saw in the mirror. She had also noticed that she had stopped being the centre of attention whenever she walked into her room. She was losing her magic and she did not like it one bit. She decided to order for some slimming pills and tea she had been postponing for a while and hoped that the ten thousand she had just spent will be worth it.

“Sandra bitch, I have been waiting for this call the whole day. Who have you been having sex with hadi you had to switch off your phone? I hope it was worth it.”

“Some of us are too busy to even think about sex Rael. Ever heard of work?”

“Liar! You are never too busy for gossip”

“Hehehehe! You know me too well. Ehe! Ati Collins apologized? Is he on drugs? Is it crack?”

“Guurl! I wish I recorded that phone conversation. It was so awkward, I cringed the whole time. Can you believe that I was relieved when I realized he was not being sincere? Collins is an asshole and he being any different is just off. That will not be him”

“Well, did you submit the ratings to HR?”

“Naaah! I am going to submit it just before the deadline. Is it weird that I do not want him to lose his job after all that he has done to me? He is really good at his job and he can be nice when he wants to.”

“It’s not weird at all. You are a good person and you would not wish ill on any person. It is more about you. Speaking of which, I found a shylock although his rates are ridiculous. If you do not mind paying 15 percent, I can send you his contacts you meet and talk. The requirements are pretty much the same as the other one. I will be your guarantor. I am looking for a cheaper one though.”

“Thank you, Sandra. Send me his contacts. I will call him tomorrow after I see the doctor. Thank you. Let me get some food and weed at Bob’s.”

“Take care girl.”

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